It happens. What does? Shit does.

Things (shit) happen, it's how we bounce back and reemerge from the wreckage that counts. The other day my bike, my beautiful baby, was destroyed. I was completely devastated to the point that I broke down and cried; falling, literally, to my knees and bawling like a child.

No matter, that was simply a way for my body/mind to rid the negative energy that had come to boil over inside me, it is something that needs to happen for a person to be able to move on and start anew. A person must embrace the fact that a mind can only take so much and that emotions are its version of a “blow off valve.”

It is now four days since the accident. I have gone through the five stages of grieving for my bike and body. I have made myself productive; hobbling around at work, stripping my bike to the frame to clean and inspect it, making the necessary phone calls and emails to see about getting my baby up and running again, and assembling my trusty Walker Pursuit Beast to be used as a commuter and backup till everything is back and together again. I feel better because of it.

In fact, I feel better than better, I feel as though I am going to come out of this situation ahead of where I was previously! Take the bike for instance and as the obvious example, obviously; before the wreck I had been riding the hell out of it, going hard and “putting it away wet.” It didn’t need but deserved a new pair of wheels, and was desperate for a good overhaul. I needed to take it apart, clean it and with a fresh coat of grease tune it all back together.

Well with the onset of the beating I got from the car I was able to finally put the time into it that it deserved and with the fact that my wheels resemble more of a taco than a pizza I am able to focus on getting it the ‘new shoes’ that it deserves! It is going to look amazing, too. I have decided that to best go with my awesome matte black frame I shall build up a pair of white rims and the new fork shall also be white, gonna to be a stunner.

It’s much more than the bike, though, don’t tell it I said so; this wreck and the following mental beat down brought me to the realization once again that I am capable of sticking my toe into muddy waters of a negative and immediately catapulting myself back to the peaks of awesomeness.

It has shown me that if I focus on a situation, think logically and possibly a bit omnisciently that I can do anything, overcome everything and struggle less. I know, it is hard to do especially when such strong emotions are involved but it is something that must be done. You must get “outside yourself” and look at the big picture for within every negative lies a hidden positive. There is always something that can be taken and learned from, something that can be spun to make a blanket of improvement if you will.

So, looking back, I don’t want to say that I am glad that beast of a truck ran me over but I am thankful for the opportunity it gave me to be able to grow. I’m thankful it gave me the chance to reevaluate my standing and focus. Now I’m left with more than a shattered fork and ego I am left with the strength of will to overcome all that is put in front of me. That and a cool new color scheme!

Curly's swagger.

“You know what the secret to life is? It’s one thing, just one. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.” This sage advice was given to me through the fictitious words of the old cowboy named Curly. The one that shows the Big City business types the ropes and ways of the trail in the movie “City Slickers.”

I have been giving this line much thought for a while and through much mulling I seem to be back right where I started. To me this one thing that we each have to find is what is most important as our own individual being on this planet, what our most basic principle(s) are.

Looking back I believe I have found the basis for my obsession with this. About a year ago I started thinking about me as a person and my life as a whole. It was after getting back in school and “settling down to focus” and thinking of where I wanted to go as an individual.

I asked myself; what is it that I like to do, what am I good at and what am I passionate about? Well that turned out to be easier than what was to come which was how was I to accomplish and utilize what I have? Hmm…

I believe that all too often we are pushed along and are showed the “right way” of doing things. This brings me to a conversation I was having with a lovely friend of mine the other day at work. We were talking of traveling and she turned and told me that if I always try to do things the right way I might never do them at all!


We have to find out, ask ourselves what is most important to each of us. I feel that if we try to follow others and do something simply because that is “the way its done” then we might miss our mark and not reach our true potentials.

A man by the name of Chris Guillebeau tells his readers to live life their way, to focus on taking over the world by accomplishing their own goals in life. I love this. You take your own one thing and do it- be it.

What are the things that I love the most, what is it that I am most passionate about? Three things: bicycles, traveling and people. This is what I would love to do for the rest of my life, travel around with a bike and meet people. How do I accomplish that?

What do I need to do to live my life the way I want to live it? Well I’m in school now, two years in after not doing anything academically since high school which was about five years ago. Which way(s) can I orient myself to take advantage of what I have inside me so that I might do what I want to?

I chose Psychology and Journalism. I can learn about people while I write about whatever enters my head while doing whatever it is that I am doing. And I am planning my ride in the summer; my Trans-Western Cycling Expedition. I want to use it as a launch pad of sorts to get me experience and as a way to change my life.

Curly said that once you found your one thing that nothing else matters. I think that once you find out what is most important to you that you should strive for it like nothing else matters. Make your life your own through whatever means possible, be creative and have fun with it.

What's next?

Check back soon to hear the secret of the universe as explained by the great sage, Curly.

"You must go and find out what is important to you, what you live by and what holds meaning; that is your one thing, that is what you can count on and steady yourself against when times are truly turbulent."

A shattered feeling of invincibility.

There is an illusion, an idea of invincibility that exists in most of us from childhood that comes from one not reaching their own limits. Whether it be intellectually, physically, or emotionally once that has been reached it will always change a person. And once this happens a sort of innocence will be lost- forever.

This happened to me, finally, while on the bike the other night. I always go out looking for a good time, yearning to push my limits and see where I can put myself while riding. Well, finally, it happened, I pushed too far and reached a limit that even I found to be too much as I saw my bike and what I thought was my body go underneath the moving wheels of a motorized monster.

It scared me more than anything ever has in all my years alive; I seriously, for a moment, thought that I would be crippled for the rest of my life. No more riding, hiking, swimming or climbing. Talk about change!

Whenever this happens to a person it will forever be a moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Perfect example that I can think of comes, of course, from the bike as well. It is a story of what is called in cycling circles as the “bonk.”

The bonk is what happens when you push your body past the point when it has used all the calories available, to the point where it has been running on fumes and beyond. You simply run out of gas!

You see, I went out with a group, originally planning on riding a somewhat easy sixty miles but somehow pushed it to ninety. Well, I didn’t bring enough food and ended up slowing to a literal crawl and eventually got to the point where I fell over and in to a ditch. That was another life changing point in my life, one from which I have learned, and feared, the fact that I shall ever not bring enough food and since then have been sure not to have too little of.


So, the other evening, the night of my most current epiphany, I realized that I was in fact mortal and that I was, to my great chagrin, not invincible. For, you see, I have ridden for my whole life basically as if I were invulnerable to anything and everything. I had the feeling that I was bulletproof and that every time I donned that spandex outfit I turned into some sort of superman.

Well I was wrong. I am in fact fallible and able to fall. It is possible, believe it or not, for me to crash hard enough, into a car for instance, to seriously injure myself beyond the point of the simple scrapes and bruises. I could wind up permanently fucked up.

Like I said before I watched as my beautiful bicycle and what I thought was my body go under the wheels of a behemoth bounding along the boulevard. I thought it was the end, an end that before this point in my life I always knew was there but never actually thought could happen to me, not in a million miles.

It did happen, though, as it will again I’m sure for another situation and as it has time and time again for others since the beginning of time. The loss of innocence, a loss of the feeling that you can do anything you want and escape unscathed, to be able to walk away from any situation that might approach you or accomplish any task.

I’ll keep pushing the limit, I won’t stop riding, and I will forever go out looking for trouble, though, now I know that I have stared down the barrel of the beast and lived to tell the tale I will have a bit more respect for the situations I do put myself into.

A note from the Chaplain.

Back at the end of August I took a trip on my bike and rode to Wichita Falls to participate in the Hotter ‘n Hell Hundred. It was an amazing experience; I got in over 250 miles in three days, learned that it is incredibly easy to bring way too much weight in a bike trailer and met some really awesome people; one of those being an older man that happens to be the chaplain of a prison in northwest Texas.

Now if anything can speak testaments to my love for differences among individuals it is the fact that I sat down and chatted with this oddly quiet but incredibly interesting man. Sitting together he was immediately interested in my rig which consisted of my bike and attached trailer which, at the time, was being used for a bench for my worn out body to rest on.

Getting to know one another I learned that he had at one point ridden his bike from Amarillo, Texas to central Oregon accompanied only by his son. That’s about two thousand miles through some incredibly interesting and varied terrain which he told me included Yellowstone National Park- glorious!

As we watched the racers in the Pro Criterium go by round and round, again and again we chatted about many things, though, mainly about camping and cycling. It was amazing the incredible wealth of knowledge that this man had inside of his head. He told me about touring while I explained the intricacies of racing in a field such as the one in front of us; a wonderful give and take of data.

He clued me in to some incredibly useful information regarding what to bring on a tour, how to use what I did bring and probably more importantly what to leave behind. Some of this I knew already but the majority of it was news to me and provided a bit of insight to my own idea of comfort “on the road.”

It makes the point, though, how much ‘stuff’ does one truly need to not survive but to experience something the way it should be experienced? How much do I need to get ‘out there’ and ‘do it’ successfully? And in this case could bringing too many “luxuries” be a detriment to the success of said experience?

I want to ride my bike to California not only because I think it will be incredibly fun but because I think it will be incredibly hard. I want to push myself further than I ever have before. I want to experience the act of riding and meeting individuals along the way. Now, how would excess luxuries help me accomplish this? I have yet to answer this so this leads me to think that they would serve no purpose other than to hinder me. This trip is going to be long; it’s going to take up to two and a half months of riding every day. There will be the overriding and singular goal of turning the pedals in infinite circles. It will be bliss, a bliss that David, the man I spoke with months ago in Wichita Falls commented on in his recent letter to me.



“Zac- the best thing about a bike tour is this. It is one thing. It never changes. If I started tomorrow it would be the same. You’ll love it. It’ll happen when you crest a ridge and ride along and then start down. You won’t believe it, but there will come a day when you are trying to conquer a hill and it will happen. It will happen in the evening when you are trying to make a certain campground or town and dusk is falling. It will happen if you ever do some night riding when the stars are out (it’s fun). It will happen when you are riding along and the sun comes up. It is simply one thing and only one thing. It is this- simply riding. Riding the bike. Going along, coasting, pedaling, riding, going- it’s the one thing that will become the center of your universe and you will love it. Live for it. It’ll make you want to wake up at 3:30 AM to pack up and get going! It will motivate you to ride over 100 miles. (We rode 200 miles in one day on several occasions.)”

Rev. David E. Schlewitz, Chaplain II

I had a dream...

Wow, I just woke myself up from one of the oddest dreams I’ve had that I can remember. I was at work of all places and we were having a Christmas party, everyone was in attendance with their dates and dressed to impress. A friend of mine, one of the managers, was up at the front talking into a microphone.

He was at the front cracking jokes, making everyone laugh when suddenly he stops, looks at me and says, “now I’m going to hand it over to Zac!” Obviously this shocked me thoroughly for I stammered on the way, bumbling and shuffling.

I get up there, grab the mic and then, suddenly and for probably the first time in my life, I have no idea what to say. Terror, I didn’t know what to do! The term “crickets chirping” comes to mind here.

I’m not really sure why I had the urge to share this; perhaps it gives a glimpse into my soul, into my greatest fear. Maybe the reason was because I awoke to the sound of my own voice talking, or trying to at least. Hmm, let me ponder this some more…

I know...

It has been a while since my last post, and longer since the last time I've posted anything with real content. Stick with me, they're coming!

Pondering the idea of social networking?

Then come over to Facebook and check out the Pondering Cyclist page for up to the minute details, pictures, and rambles!

December shall bring with it great things and 2010 will be nothing short of an adventure.

Why did the caterpillar cross the road?

Of all the things that I come across on a normal day’s ride the thing that strikes me the most is the sight of the lonely fuzzy caterpillar trying to cross a busy three lane road. I see this all the time, and whenever I do the thought of just how many such scenes their actually are pops into my head.



This is but one example of the type of image one misses by driving. Hell, even runners will usually pass by without noticing. Our determined little caterpillar is a good example of this. All day he inches his way across the mine field of traffic and tires but no one in those monstrous automobiles seems to notice that they are about to extinguish the life force of a fuzzy little soul.

“People are people, and if you put some down the way they are, they likely wouldn’t be happy.”

I’m not going to lie, I really like this quote. Actually I have a serious love affair for good quotes but this, especially with the topics I’ve been covering lately really seems to get me. People, I love them, they interest me, I love talking to them, learning them and yes even loving them but they are a finicky bunch, rub ‘em the wrong way and watch out.

I got this particular quote out of a book, “Goodbye to a River,” that I’ve had on my shelf for nearly a year now. It is a personal narrative of a man that grew up in north Texas who as a child loved to explore the river and surrounding wilderness of Palo Pinto County. Now I do understand that to most of you this means very little but then there are those of you that know exactly how special, how magical this part of the world is.

It is a mix of stereotypical Texas and rolling mesa, a beautiful place with Century plants and buzzards circling overhead. I am quite passionate about it myself, as a teen I spent quite a few hours pedaling around in this area.

This type of country, like most individuals in the world are just that, very individual. And exploring the planet and its wild places is just like going out, having conversations and discovering the people around you for who they are. These are two things that are very important to me. So go out and explore; go learn something new!